i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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