It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
