Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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