Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
