no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
