No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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