You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
