Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
