There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
