So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
