Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
