He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
