its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
