something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
