1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
