it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
