After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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