i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
3 2 1 whiskey
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
