i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
