He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
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Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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