a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I want is dick and wine.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
