Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
