my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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