How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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