my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
