plz talk dirty to me
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
