The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
