bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
