Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck