i wish peter jackson would direct porn
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.