Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I need water and some morals