So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!