she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
