i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
