Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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