You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
