Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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