he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
