oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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