Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
