What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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