I just googled if crying burns calories
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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