I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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