update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
