So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
