I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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