careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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