If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
