Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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