how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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