He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
