You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
