if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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