Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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