My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
