Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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