would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
