quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
