I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
