Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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