I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
