After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
