We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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