Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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