The maid of honor just puked.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
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i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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